by Max Barry

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Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 181stLargest Retail Industry: 194thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 242nd
The Sacred Kingdoms of
Father Knows Best State
In Terdisu We Believe
Maximum Figuration Cheti Kitshi
Influence
Power
Founder
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Estonul

Population9.403 billion

CapitalSacred City Sanegnuo
LeaderMaximum Figuration Cheti Kitshi
FaithSeigopremism

CurrencyMonarchical Krone
AnimalKashkati

The Sacred Kingdoms of Estonul is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Maximum Figuration Cheti Kitshi with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.403 billion Estonulians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sacred City Sanegnuo. The average income tax rate is 92.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Estonulian economy, worth a remarkable 4,379 trillion Monarchical Kroner a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 465,748 Monarchical Kroner, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Dubiously qualified Skandilundian barristers keep referring to laws as 'government guidelines', it is considered unpatriotic to learn a foreign language, Estonulian scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack, and citizenship applications are processed in the time it takes to smile and say "next, please". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Estonul's national animal is the Kashkati, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Seigopremism.

Estonul is ranked 248th in the world and 1st in The Great Monarchical Nations for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 19,699.48 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

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Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 181stLargest Retail Industry: 194thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 242ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 248thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 389thLargest Black Market: 393rdMost Subsidized Industry: 411thHighest Average Incomes: 430thHighest Poor Incomes: 490thLargest Insurance Industry: 536thMost Efficient Economies: 610thLargest Mining Sector: 662ndMost Corrupt Governments: 861stMost Devout: 963rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,023rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,114thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,188thLowest Crime Rates: 1,648thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,003rdMost Avoided: 2,045thLargest Governments: 2,175thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,253rdTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 2,544thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,642ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,290thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,357thMost Advanced Public Education: 3,647thMost Developed: 5,056thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,382ndLongest Average Lifespans: 5,647thSmartest Citizens: 5,872ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,927thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,175thLargest Publishing Industry: 6,344thRudest Citizens: 6,536thLargest Welfare Programs: 6,632ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,860thFattest Citizens: 8,157thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,257thMost Cultured: 9,773rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 10,715thTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 14,603rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 20,500thMost Influential: 22,917th
Top
10%
Most Developed: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionNudest: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, citizenship applications are processed in the time it takes to smile and say "next, please".
  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, Estonulian scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack.
  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, it is considered unpatriotic to learn a foreign language.
  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, dubiously qualified Skandilundian barristers keep referring to laws as 'government guidelines'.
  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, straitjackets are a common religious garb.
  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, professional athletes can't see balls amid the deluge of advertisements.
  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, the citizenship exam requires years of study to actually pass.
  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, the path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment.
  • : Following new legislation in Estonul, owners of man-portable particle accelerator backpacks are advised not to cross the streams.
  • : Estonul was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Fattest Citizens.

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