The Þeodwalda Cynning of Esplandia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emperor Irwin IV with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, punitive income tax rates, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 15.82 billion Esplandians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karþied. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Esplandish economy, worth a remarkable 2,474 trillion Scylds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 156,399 Scylds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kids are gathering at the local soda shop to celebrate staying out past sundown, international negotiations always lead to a lot of missile-laneous expenses, the nation is relieved that all of the recent madness has finally come to an end, and power stations shutting down at night has made bedtime reading tricky. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esplandia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Eallostianism.

Esplandia is ranked 160,887^th in the world and 6,968^th in The North Pacific for Most Extreme, scoring 17.47 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.