Population | 18.591 billion |
Capital | Karşied |
Leader | Emperor Irwin IV |
Faith | Eallostianism |
Currency | Scyld |
Animal | Falcon |
The Sun-Scorched Saxon Kingdom of Esplandia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Irwin IV with an iron fist, and notable for its enslaved workforce, national health service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 18.591 billion Esplandians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.
The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Education, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karşied. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 47.6%.
The frighteningly efficient Esplandish economy, worth a remarkable 3,713 trillion Scylds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Basket Weaving, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 199,731 Scylds, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,803,094 per year while the poor average 2,684, a ratio of 671 to 1.
The steaks are too high for ambassadors to butcher foreign relationships, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis, it is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away", and glittering new sports stadiums adorn every city and town. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Esplandia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Eallostianism.
Esplandia is ranked 7,559th in the world and 344th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 135 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, glittering new sports stadiums adorn every city and town.
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, it is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away".
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis.
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, the steaks are too high for ambassadors to butcher foreign relationships.
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, the statue in the Goethe Plaza has a solar panel for a hat.
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, most pop videos prominently feature the Esplandish flag.
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, governments opposing Esplandia are beset by rebels.
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, the police have been reduced to using duct tape instead of handcuffs following further cutbacks.
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, medical staff can legally quiet people who ask for a second helping of Salisbury steak.
- : Following new legislation in Esplandia, unemployed butchers line the streets.