The God of Factbooks of Esplandia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emperor Irwin IV with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 10.573 billion Esplandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karthied. The average income tax rate is 78.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Esplandish economy, worth a remarkable 1,722 trillion Crown Florents a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 162,929 Crown Florents, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

The dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu, tourists avoid using the nation's bugged phones and monitored internet, EULAs remind customers that "Private Mode" is a browser setting rather than a promise, and religious leaders order congregants to love any neighbour who is just like themselves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esplandia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Aelostianism.

Esplandia is ranked 10,978^th in the world and 606^th in The North Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 6,330.26 on the Hickory Productivity Index.