The Kingdom of Esplandia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by King Sherwin V with an iron fist, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, free-roaming dinosaurs, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 8.117 billion Esplandians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karthied. The average income tax rate is 74.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Esplandish economy, worth a remarkable 1,193 trillion Crown Florents a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 147,094 Crown Florents, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Ambitious "businessmen" use their children to sell and advertise their products, government theft from poor artists to give to rich allies has been dubbed the "reverse Robin Hood" policy, visitors to Violet Rock City are stunned to learn that they must memorize the "99 Principles" before entering, and autopsies often involve only cursory examination. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esplandia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Aelostianism.

Esplandia is ranked 167,731^st in the world and 9,125^th in The North Pacific for Least Corrupt Governments, with 32.59 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.