The God of Factbooks of Esplandia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Irwin IV with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 11.391 billion Esplandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karthied. The average income tax rate is 82.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Esplandish economy, worth a remarkable 1,778 trillion Crown Florents a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 156,163 Crown Florents, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign policy often involves bullwhips and leather, being wrong on the internet has been classified as digital terrorism, the Karthied Film Festival recently voted 'Esplandian Getting Hit By Football' as best film, and loss of the ability to speak is a common affliction of the elderly. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esplandia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Aelostianism.

Esplandia is ranked 18,136^th in the world and 685^th in The North Pacific for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector, scoring 14,744.86 on the Charon Conveyancy Index.