The Last True Viking of Esplandia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emperor Irwin IV with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, ban on automobiles, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 14.631 billion Esplandians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karthied. The average income tax rate is 86.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Esplandish economy, worth a remarkable 2,252 trillion Scylds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Cheese Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 153,970 Scylds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, many believe that Emperor Irwin IV's head is big enough for the sun to orbit around it, racial supremacists have a burning desire to deal with immigrants, and pregnant women make easy targets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esplandia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Aelostianism.

Esplandia is ranked 3,734^th in the world and 179^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 16,373.66 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.