The Front Porch Sittin' Republic of Eskvenn is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by John Monroe with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, smutty television, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 4.133 billion Eskvennians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Moultrie. The average income tax rate is 26.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Eskvennian economy, worth 448 trillion Eskvennian Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 108,602 Eskvennian Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes, tower block residents are each held responsible for four square inches of front lawn, the military conducts 'training exercises' in prisons, and bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eskvenn's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Eskvenn is ranked 130,793^rd in the world and 4,802^nd in the South Pacific for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring 58.92 on the Hayek Index.