The Front Porch Sittin' Republic of Eskvenn is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by John Monroe with an even hand, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, parental licensing program, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 4.385 billion Eskvennians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Moultrie. The average income tax rate is 29.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Eskvennian economy, worth 478 trillion Eskvennian Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 109,039 Eskvennian Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, teenagers performing appendectomies on their friends has become a popular schoolyard prank, weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law, and the optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eskvenn's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Eskvenn is ranked 29,133^rd in the world and 978^th in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 837.64 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.