The Kingdom of Esgeirimmen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Torgaf Müller with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 12.995 billion Allers are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Windhelm. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Allisch economy, worth a remarkable 1,788 trillion thalers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 137,624 thalers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras, government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals, space shuttles are lying silent on the runway till the Space Agency can work out how to fit a creche and a meditation room into their next spacecraft, and one does not simply walk into the tundra. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esgeirimmen's national animal is the dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Heathenism.

Esgeirimmen is ranked 283,821^st in the world and 106^th in The Internationale for Most Primitive, scoring -364.02 on the Scary Big Number Scale.