by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 7thMost Avoided: 9th
The Walled Cities of
Capitalist Paradise
בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population18.627 billion

LeaderBenjamin Satanyahu


The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with an even hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, complete lack of prisons, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 18.627 billion EretzIsraelians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 13,671 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 733,974 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,875,393 per year while the poor average 6,595, a ratio of 1,042 to 1.

Books are considered luxuries only available to the incredibly wealthy, napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations, it turns out that money can buy you happiness, and heart attacks are regarded as a coming of age ritual. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 13,659th in the world and 248th in The North Pacific for Most Pro-Market, scoring 88.78 on the Rand Index.

Largest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 7thMost Avoided: 9thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 9thRudest Citizens: 9thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9thMost Corrupt Governments: 10thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 15thMost Secular: 16thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 18thLargest Gambling Industry: 21stHighest Disposable Incomes: 29thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 33rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 34thLargest Insurance Industry: 35thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 44thHighest Average Incomes: 58thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 63rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 73rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 73rdLargest Mining Sector: 81stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 88thMost Efficient Economies: 112thMost Armed: 122ndHighest Crime Rates: 142ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 165thHighest Economic Output: 199thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 213thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 698thLargest Information Technology Sector: 929thTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,418thMost Stationary: 3,653rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,833rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,591stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6,452ndLargest Governments: 6,587thLargest Black Market: 7,240thLargest Populations: 7,471stMost Subsidized Industry: 10,034thTop
Most Influential: 11,580thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,401stMost Pro-Market: 13,659thLargest Publishing Industry: 14,467thHighest Drug Use: 15,497thSmartest Citizens: 16,717th
Highest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 35th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 53rd in the regionMost Stationary: 85th in the regionLargest Populations: 90th in the regionTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 124th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 247th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 248th in the regionLargest Black Market: 281st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 307th in the regionLargest Governments: 348th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 359th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 417th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 450th in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 504th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 706th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 859th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, heart attacks are regarded as a coming of age ritual.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, it turns out that money can buy you happiness.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, books are considered luxuries only available to the incredibly wealthy.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, soylent products are an expensive commodity due to a lack of volunteers.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, preservative-laden EretzIsraelian cheeses will be as edible when archaeologists dig them up next millennium.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, hackers post hourly updates on international summits.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, suburban families are finding themselves increasingly short on food as they waste precious water on their lawns.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, a policy of plausible deniability helps protect the government from athletic doping scandals.


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