by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 5th Fattest Citizens: 6th Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 8th
The Walled Cities of
Capitalist Paradise
בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

EretzIsrael

Population16.492 billion

Capitalיְרוּשָׁלַיִם
LeaderBenjamin Satanyahu
FaithSatanism

Currencyשקל
Animalgazelle

The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with an even hand, and renowned for its vat-grown people, ubiquitous missile silos, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 16.492 billion EretzIsraelians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 11,187 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 678,346 שקלs, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,328,708 per year while the poor average 79,121, a ratio of 42.1 to 1.

Popular candidates who don't suffer last-second political scandals tend to get fished out of the יְרוּשָׁלַיִם River, beggars on the street are often heard asking for spare votes, the police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls, and children are seen fighting in the playground for bread scraps that fall out of diamond-encrusted lunchboxes. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 5,045th in the world and 152nd in The North Pacific for Largest Black Market, with 111 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 5thFattest Citizens: 6thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8thMost Corrupt Governments: 11thMost Avoided: 16thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 16thMost Secular: 19thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 19thRudest Citizens: 27thLargest Insurance Industry: 31stHighest Disposable Incomes: 33rdLargest Gambling Industry: 34thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 38thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 44thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 54thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 56thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 59thHighest Average Incomes: 65thMost Scientifically Advanced: 76thLargest Mining Sector: 81stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 92ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 182ndHighest Economic Output: 253rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 266thMost Armed: 283rdHighest Crime Rates: 347thLargest Agricultural Sector: 528thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 776thLargest Information Technology Sector: 818thMost Efficient Economies: 1,252ndTop
5%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,254thMost Stationary: 4,010thLargest Black Market: 5,045thTop
10%
Largest Populations: 7,677thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 8,705thMost Influential: 9,438thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,667thHighest Drug Use: 11,050thLargest Governments: 11,520thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,007th
Top
1%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 12th in the regionMost Armed: 15th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 18th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 23rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 31st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 42nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 44th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Populations: 97th in the regionMost Stationary: 101st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 116th in the regionLargest Black Market: 152nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 208th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Drug Use: 389th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 477th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 506th in the regionNudest: 517th in the regionLargest Governments: 576th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, children are seen fighting in the playground for bread scraps that fall out of diamond-encrusted lunchboxes.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, beggars on the street are often heard asking for spare votes.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, popular candidates who don't suffer last-second political scandals tend to get fished out of the יְרוּשָׁלַיִם River.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the ongoing space elevator construction project has elevated the national debt to all new levels.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, farmers' market days almost always end in a shooting.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, recent events in Dàguó have been classified 'for Benjamin Satanyahu's eyes only'.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the industries of EretzIsrael are coughing all the way to the bank.

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