by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 2ndLargest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 7th
The Walled Cities of
Corporate Bordello
בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

EretzIsrael

Population20.645 billion

Capitalיְרוּשָׁלַיִם
LeaderBenjamin Satanyahu
FaithSatanism

Currencyשקל
Animalgazelle

The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, enslaved workforce, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 20.645 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 16,020 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 776,003 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,238,729 per year while the poor average 7,358, a ratio of 983 to 1.

Failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside, the government's suicide hotline now redirects callers to local tax lawyers, EretzIsraelian TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries, and insurance companies charge extortionate premiums to cover homes near waterways. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 61st in the world and 4th in The North Pacific for Most Armed, with 84.5 Weapons Per Person.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 2ndLargest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 7thMost Corrupt Governments: 7thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8thMost Avoided: 9thLargest Gambling Industry: 11thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 12thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 17thMost Secular: 17thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 20thHighest Disposable Incomes: 23rdLargest Insurance Industry: 33rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 38thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 38thHighest Average Incomes: 51stGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 51stMost Efficient Economies: 57thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 58thMost Armed: 61stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 63rdHighest Crime Rates: 64thMost Scientifically Advanced: 70thLargest Mining Sector: 73rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 78thHighest Economic Output: 152ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 155thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 206thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 690thLargest Information Technology Sector: 896thMost Pro-Market: 1,754thTop
5%
Most Stationary: 3,437thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,085thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 4,114thLargest Governments: 4,196thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,703rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 5,959thLargest Populations: 7,263rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,311thLargest Black Market: 8,561stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,949thTop
10%
Most Influential: 11,978thLargest Publishing Industry: 12,083rdSmartest Citizens: 12,275thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,694thHighest Drug Use: 18,341st
Top
1%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 7th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 29th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 53rd in the regionMost Stationary: 80th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Populations: 107th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 178th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 215th in the regionLargest Governments: 235th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 274th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 294th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 359th in the regionLargest Black Market: 366th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 424th in the regionTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 591st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 644th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 676th in the regionNudest: 762nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, insurance companies charge extortionate premiums to cover homes near waterways.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, EretzIsraelian TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the government's suicide hotline now redirects callers to local tax lawyers.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, all tariffs have been abolished.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the strong are acquitted and the weak are trampled in trial by a gazelle.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding".
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, teens are voting on which C-List pop star will be next to be evicted from the opera house.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, it's normal to start working life with crippling financial debt.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, classes are regularly interrupted by drunken children.

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