by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 3rdLargest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 6th
The Walled Cities of
Capitalist Paradise
בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

EretzIsrael

Population21.376 billion

Capitalיְרוּשָׁלַיִם
LeaderBenjamin Satanyahu
FaithSatanism

Currencyשקל
Animalgazelle

The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, free-roaming dinosaurs, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 21.376 billion EretzIsraelians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Defense is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 16,913 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 791,244 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,380,910 per year while the poor average 7,502, a ratio of 983 to 1.

Benjamin Satanyahu's speeches are beloved by insomniacs, nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths, scientists are researching the best way to kill off humanity to prevent catastrophic war, and personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 44th in the world and 3rd in The North Pacific for Most Armed, with 94.24 weapons per person.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 3rdLargest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 6thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6thMost Corrupt Governments: 7thMost Avoided: 7thLargest Gambling Industry: 9thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 12thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13thMost Secular: 15thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 17thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 18thHighest Disposable Incomes: 21stLargest Insurance Industry: 32ndMost Efficient Economies: 37thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 37thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 38thMost Armed: 44thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 44thHighest Average Incomes: 48thMost Scientifically Advanced: 55thHighest Crime Rates: 56thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 59thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 62ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 76thLargest Mining Sector: 82ndHighest Economic Output: 143rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 167thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 201stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 655thLargest Information Technology Sector: 883rdMost Pro-Market: 1,729thTop
5%
Most Subsidized Industry: 3,266thMost Stationary: 3,382ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,437thLargest Governments: 3,633rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6,321stMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,422ndHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6,782ndLargest Populations: 7,109thLargest Black Market: 7,812thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,739thSmartest Citizens: 11,730thLargest Publishing Industry: 11,759thMost Influential: 11,909thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 17,954thHighest Drug Use: 21,078th
Top
1%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 8th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 49th in the regionMost Stationary: 80th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Populations: 103rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 114th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 149th in the regionLargest Black Market: 181st in the regionLargest Governments: 194th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 296th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 331st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 379th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 471st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 474th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Publishing Industry: 588th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 629th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, scientists are researching the best way to kill off humanity to prevent catastrophic war.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, Benjamin Satanyahu's speeches are beloved by insomniacs.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle".
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule EretzIsrael but at least the trains run on time.
  • : EretzIsrael was reclassified from "Corporate Bordello" to "Capitalist Paradise".
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, it's a common sight to see angry commuters with grenade launchers mounted on their vehicles.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the phrase "you might think that but I couldn't possibly comment" is the closest you'll get to a straight answer from EretzIsraelian politicians.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the streets are ravaged by murder and violence to prove political points.

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