Population | 26.637 billion |
Capital | יְרוּשָׁלַיִם |
Leader | Benjamin Satanyahu |
Faith | Satanism |
Currency | שקל |
Animal | gazelle |
The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, complete lack of prisons, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 26.637 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.
The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 23,403 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 878,608 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,195,978 per year while the poor average 8,329, a ratio of 984 to 1.
The Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby Benjamin Satanyahu Pics" has made Benjamin Satanyahu's mom a celebrity, being Benjamin Satanyahu has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs, one can walk from one side of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם to the other without setting foot on EretzIsraelian soil, and dozens of viewers go online to hear whether a comma has been added to Clause 5 in Subsection B of Law 58375. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.
EretzIsrael is ranked 307,331st in the world and 7,123rd in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.11 law-abiding acts per hour.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, dozens of viewers go online to hear whether a comma has been added to Clause 5 in Subsection B of Law 58375.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, one can walk from one side of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם to the other without setting foot on EretzIsraelian soil.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, being Benjamin Satanyahu has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby Benjamin Satanyahu Pics" has made Benjamin Satanyahu's mom a celebrity.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, tumbleweeds made of litter adorn city streets.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the most commonly-worn shoes are concrete ones.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, insolent whistleblowers receive their just desserts on deserted isles.