The Incorporated States of Epic Hoarder is a colossal, pleasant nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion. The quiet, industrious population of 6.124 billion Epic Hoarderians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 26.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Epic Hoarderian economy, worth 210 trillion cards a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Arms Manufacturing, and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 34,421 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Gambling is outlawed, voting is voluntary, organ donation is compulsory, and nudity is frowned upon. Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Epic Hoarder's national animal is the epic.

Epic Hoarder is ranked 188,307^th in the world and 8,225^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 57.73 law-abiding acts per hour.