The Kingdom of English First is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, infamous sell-swords, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 12.327 billion English Firstians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 63.1%.

The frighteningly efficient English Firstian economy, worth a remarkable 2,211 trillion pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 179,422 pounds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 615,556 per year while the poor average 38,383, a ratio of 16.0 to 1.

The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned, pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit, the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy, and the government seizes the property of the recently deceased. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. English First's national animal is the hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

English First is ranked 13,478^th in the world and 8^th in New Bilderberg Group for Lowest Crime Rates, with 95.91 law-abiding acts per hour.