The Empire of Empire of Techkotal is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Wahadabi with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, ritual sacrifices, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.351 billion Techkotalians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abahad. The average income tax rate is 41.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong techkotalian economy, worth 408 trillion Kotas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 64,241 Kotas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Police wait behind troop deployments in order to shoot deserters, the nation solves other countries' human rights problems with a generous dose of violence, citizens brought into court for parking violations are never heard from again, and the nation's biggest export is stupidity. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Empire of Techkotal's national animal is the Rooster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Wahadabism.

Empire of Techkotal is ranked 276,601^st in the world and 10,023^rd in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 0.53 bananas ingested per day.