by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,245th Nudest: 3,268th Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,512th
The Empire of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Moriemini o hominem mille mortibus
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Powerhouse
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Empalla

Population510 million

CapitalHuisquirda

CurrencyCarredetas
AnimalHomeless Man

The Empire of Empalla is a huge, orderly nation, remarkable for its state-planned economy, sprawling nuclear power plants, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 510 million Empallae are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Huisquirda. The average income tax rate is 81.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Empallan economy, worth 59.6 trillion Carredetas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 116,796 Carredetas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The doctor has cold hands, worried-looking neonatal nurses are being deployed in place of SWAT teams during dangerous drug busts, Tom and Jerry cartoons have cat and mouse resolving their problems with reasoned discussion, and cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Empalla's national animal is the Homeless Man, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Empalla is ranked 167,656th in the world and 6,268th in The East Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 27.44 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.

Top
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,245thNudest: 3,268thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,512thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,207thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,195thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,804thMost Authoritarian: 7,090thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7,348thMost Conservative: 7,373rdMost Influential: 7,614thMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,947thLargest Mining Sector: 8,039thTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 8,987thMost Secular: 10,405thLargest Black Market: 12,410thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12,485thHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,698thMost Avoided: 13,082ndMost Subsidized Industry: 13,949thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,243rdLowest Crime Rates: 14,413thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,379thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,207thMost Extreme: 16,311thLargest Governments: 16,851st
Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 51st in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 82nd in the regionNudest: 88th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 111th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 117th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 130th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 141st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 161st in the regionLargest Black Market: 185th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 192nd in the regionMost Avoided: 277th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 297th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 311th in the regionMost Secular: 315th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 315th in the regionTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 329th in the regionMost Conservative: 342nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 368th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 379th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 383rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 407th in the regionLargest Governments: 415th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 431st in the regionMost Influential: 464th in the regionMost Extreme: 560th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 571st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 582nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Empalla was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Empalla, cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy.
  • : Following new legislation in Empalla, Tom and Jerry cartoons have cat and mouse resolving their problems with reasoned discussion.
  • : Following new legislation in Empalla, worried-looking neonatal nurses are being deployed in place of SWAT teams during dangerous drug busts.
  • : Following new legislation in Empalla, the doctor has cold hands.
  • : Empalla was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Conservative and the Top 10% for Most Extensive Public Healthcare.
  • : Following new legislation in Empalla, Leader signs the laws but abides by none of them.
  • : Following new legislation in Empalla, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.
  • : Following new legislation in Empalla, noble feuds don't end until one side gets their point across.
  • : Following new legislation in Empalla, those who investigate UFOs tend to wake up delirious on abandoned roads.

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