by Max Barry

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Most Cheerful Citizens: 29thHealthiest Citizens: 82ndLongest Average Lifespans: 155th
The Heavily-Legged Strongmen of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Peace Through Superior Firepower!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population38.761 billion



The Heavily-Legged Strongmen of ElJefe is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Snorlax with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, smutty television, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful, devout population of 38.761 billion Jefes have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Snorlaxia. The average income tax rate is 91.2%.

The thriving ElJefean economy, worth an astonishing 11,117 trillion Dong a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 286,810 Dong, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

All Jefes live like kings, Jefes submit requests for a date in writing with an enclosed RSVP card, adults pretending to be teenage girls claim to have wholesome motives, and therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. ElJefe's national animal is the Dao, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

ElJefe is ranked 12,745th in the world and 643rd in Osiris for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 6,724.79 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

Most Cheerful Citizens: 29thHealthiest Citizens: 82ndLongest Average Lifespans: 155thLargest Agricultural Sector: 177thMost Cultured: 249thSmartest Citizens: 343rdHighest Economic Output: 395thLargest Populations: 452ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 539thHighest Food Quality: 548thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 553rdLargest Publishing Industry: 972ndLargest Welfare Programs: 994thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,036thLowest Crime Rates: 1,492ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,608thRudest Citizens: 1,706thLargest Governments: 2,215thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 2,406thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,925thSafest: 2,942ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,004thBest Weather: 3,888thLargest Mining Sector: 3,939thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,297thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,419thMost Influential: 5,720thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,206thMost Devout: 6,971stMost Rebellious Youth: 7,072ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,443rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,115thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 8,834thMost Stationary: 9,548thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,144thMost Advanced Public Education: 11,408thTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 12,105thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,745thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,726thMost Beautiful Environments: 16,620thMost Developed: 17,806thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 17,838thMost Corrupt Governments: 18,334th
Healthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 7th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 8th in the regionLargest Populations: 10th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 13th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 27th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 28th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 31st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 35th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 48th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 52nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 56th in the regionLargest Governments: 64th in the regionMost Influential: 64th in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 85th in the regionMost Stationary: 113th in the regionSafest: 133rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 134th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 136th in the regionBest Weather: 149th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 188th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 257th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 260th in the regionMost Devout: 320th in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 368th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 408th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 450th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 463rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 467th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 501st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 555th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 643rd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 646th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 682nd in the region

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