by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,674thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,752ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,821st
The Greater Riche of
Iron Fist Consumerists
By Me Beest Thou Sheen
the Elfqueens
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.753 billion

CapitalUmbworldheadstead Féerique
Leaderthe Elfqueens
FaithElvish paganism


The Greater Riche of Elfland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by the Elfqueens with an iron fist, and notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, compulsory military service, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.753 billion Elves are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Umbworldheadstead Féerique. The average income tax rate is 89.8%.

The powerhouse Elvish economy, worth 386 trillion elfmarks a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 140,344 elfmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Only the brainiest citizens become academics, picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them, a signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that she is in fact a crook after all, and those who investigate UFOs tend to wake up delirious on abandoned roads. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elfland's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Elvish paganism.

Elfland is ranked 158,358th in the world and 25th in The United Islands of the Atlantic for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 23.06 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,674thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,752ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,821stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,083rdMost Corrupt Governments: 4,409thNudest: 4,517thMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,540thLargest Black Market: 5,461stHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,236thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,596thTop
Most Devout: 8,976thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,357thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,151stLowest Crime Rates: 10,845thLargest Governments: 10,925thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11,485thLargest Welfare Programs: 11,569thMost Authoritarian: 13,998thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,259thHighest Average Incomes: 15,431stMost Advanced Public Education: 17,221stHighest Poor Incomes: 17,659th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionTop
Largest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionNudest: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

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