The Kingdom of Ekamatra is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Tony Jaa with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, anti-smoking policies, and frequent executions. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 35.858 billion Ekamatrans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ekamatra City. The average income tax rate is 99.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Ekamatran economy, worth a remarkable 5,451 trillion Thai Baht a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Tourism industry. Average income is an impressive 152,040 Thai Baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Top-shelf magazines feature risqué centrefold spreads of ladies' wrists, beaches are empty as the shark population multiplies exponentially, all beauty contests have been banned, and national park visitors are reporting a rash of poison ivy sightings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ekamatra's national animal is the Elephants, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ekamatra is ranked 1,661^st in the world and 2^nd in Confederacy of Allied States for Smartest Citizens, with 194.06 quips per hour.