by Max Barry

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Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,013thRudest Citizens: 2,385thHighest Crime Rates: 2,621st
The Republic of
Corporate Bordello
No Man A Slave
Influence
Vassal
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Excellent

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Eitoan

Population9.488 billion

FaithNo official religion

CurrencyQuada
AnimalEitoan Tiger

The Republic of Eitoan is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, daily referendums, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.488 billion Eitoans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Spirituality receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Eitoanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,296 trillion Quadas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 136,600 Quadas, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 709,516 per year while the poor average 14,226, a ratio of 49.9 to 1.

A bureaucratic fight over EIA cafeteria food expenditures has caused the temporary suspension of all agency counterintelligence operations, referenda are held for every conceivable government action, ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward, and prison reforms have replaced communal luaus with communal loos. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Eitoan's national animal is the Eitoan Tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is No official religion.

Eitoan is ranked 268,616th in the world and 60th in Greater Dienstad for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3.08 pounds of wildlife per square mile.

Top
1%
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,013thRudest Citizens: 2,385thHighest Crime Rates: 2,621stTop
5%
Most Avoided: 3,088thFattest Citizens: 3,346thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,358thLargest Gambling Industry: 3,388thHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,564thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,745thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,918thLargest Retail Industry: 5,611thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 8,052ndMost Armed: 8,977thMost Rebellious Youth: 11,401stLargest Agricultural Sector: 12,209thMost Stationary: 13,312thTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 13,904thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 14,503rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,031stHighest Economic Output: 15,710thMost Influential: 16,070thLargest Mining Sector: 16,444thLargest Publishing Industry: 17,651stHighest Average Incomes: 19,204thMost Secular: 22,456thMost Scientifically Advanced: 24,716thMost Efficient Economies: 25,850thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 25,876thLargest Information Technology Sector: 26,285thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 26,700th
Top
5%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 3rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionRudest Citizens: 5th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionFattest Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Eitoan lodged a message on the Greater Dienstad Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Eitoan, prison reforms have replaced communal luaus with communal loos.
  • : Following new legislation in Eitoan, ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward.
  • : Following new legislation in Eitoan, referenda are held for every conceivable government action.
  • : Following new legislation in Eitoan, a bureaucratic fight over EIA cafeteria food expenditures has caused the temporary suspension of all agency counterintelligence operations.
  • : Eitoan was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Agricultural Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Eitoan, you can tell when Eitoans are being snarky by the fact their lips are moving.
  • : Following new legislation in Eitoan, the cruise missile launchers on the field hospital roof are purely deterrent in purpose.
  • : Eitoan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Workforce Participation Rate.
  • : Following new legislation in Eitoan, tourists often cite 'hiding money in an off-shore banking account' as their main reason to visit the nation.

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