The Republic of Eitoan is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, flagrant waste-dumping, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 11.802 billion Eitoans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Environment and Spirituality receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Eitoanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,738 trillion Quadas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 147,340 Quadas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 872,306 per year while the poor average 11,484, a ratio of 76.0 to 1.

A valid legal defense is 'dead men tell no tales', the military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers, teach an angler how to phish and he can make a living, and not even good behaviour will get transgender inmates any special perks. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Eitoan's national animal is the Eitoan Tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is No official religion.

Eitoan is ranked 31,906^th in the world and 40^th in Greater Dienstad for Largest Populations, with 11.8 billion capita.