The Republic of Eastern New Dogeland is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Hans Fryffenburg with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 6.318 billion East Dogeans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of West Ferres. The average income tax rate is 9.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient East Dogean economy, worth 340 trillion Dogecoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Pizza Delivery, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 53,891 Dogecoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Hans Fryffenburg is considering changing the East Dogean flag to one with more glitter, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place, and Hans Fryffenburg has been self-declared as the Most Supreme Magnificent Overlord of Everything You Ever Saw. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Eastern New Dogeland's national animal is the doge.

Eastern New Dogeland is ranked 147,645^th in the world and 21^st in DogeLand for Lowest Crime Rates, with 61.21 law-abiding acts per hour.