The Free Land of Eastern Apalstan is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Sir Does-Nothing-A-Lot with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, daily referendums, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 1.827 billion Eastern Apalstanians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of ApalVille. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.0%.

The all-consuming Eastern Apalstanian economy, worth 236 trillion ApalVs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and dominated by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 129,427 ApalVs, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 606,034 per year while the poor average 16,500, a ratio of 36.7 to 1.

Seafood restaurants assure customers 'If it lives in the sea, it's on our menu', the meaning of life was recently discovered in the patch notes for Version 1.42, the nation is The North Pacific's leading manufacturer of intricately-patterned sweaters, and multiple births are a cause of celebration for tax collectors. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Eastern Apalstan's national animal is the Bulldog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Money.

Eastern Apalstan is ranked 268,737^th in the world and 13,987^th in The North Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3.3 pounds of wildlife per square mile.