The Rogue Nation of East Side Lakes is a huge, safe nation, ruled by The State Admiral with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, avowedly heterosexual populace, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 938 million East Side Lakesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of east side. The average income tax rate is 74.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming East Side Lakesian economy, worth 85.2 trillion East lake dollars a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 90,879 East lake dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bambi has been banned, signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, and candidates for public office painstakingly research their family trees to ensure their eligibility. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East Side Lakes's national animal is the Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

East Side Lakes is ranked 234,064^th in the world and 941^st in Europe for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -4.47 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.