The Greater Tsardom of East Sakhlin is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Tsarina Natasha I with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, keen interest in outer space, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.705 billion Sakhalinsks are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk. The average income tax rate is 57.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient East Sakhlinian economy, worth 193 trillion Saks a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 113,497 Saks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Studio executives abandon tragic stories of star-crossed lovers because "it's been done", videogames like 'Equalia: Knights of Self-Confidence' are proving inexplicably unpopular, local mafias have a tough time disposing of dead snitches without catching the attention of recycling authorities, and "Mad Max: Returning Again to Barrydrome" is this year's unexpected summer blockbuster. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East Sakhlin's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

East Sakhlin is ranked 24,151^st in the world and 942^nd in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 52.44 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.