The 3rd Tsardom of East Sakhlin is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Tsar Peter IV with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, disturbing lack of elderly people, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 8.381 billion Sakhalinsks are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Poronaysk. The average income tax rate is 90.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient East Sakhlinian economy, worth a remarkable 1,047 trillion New Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 124,951 New Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Tuba players are paid to quietly whisper into their instruments, viewers get headaches from trying to read the screen full of small print warnings that precede most TV shows, army doctors who come under attack defend themselves by using stethoscopes like nunchaku, and ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East Sakhlin's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Russian Orthodox.

East Sakhlin is ranked 16,039^th in the world and 382^nd in The East Pacific for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 99.96 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.