The Federation of East Reztotzka is a massive, cultured nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, public floggings, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.583 billion East Reztotzkans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tsentrgrad. The average income tax rate is 67.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient East Reztotzkan economy, worth 436 trillion Roubles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 121,896 Roubles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, cynics say that Leader's speeches are a leading cause of death, a nickname of "Doctor Death" probably indicates a decorated war hero, and environmentalists have found an unusual ally in soldiers of fortune. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East Reztotzka's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

East Reztotzka is ranked 26,938^th in the world and 70^th in The League for Lowest Crime Rates, with 84.62 law-abiding acts per hour.