by Max Barry

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Highest Wealthy Incomes: 276thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 298thLargest Gambling Industry: 307th
The Welsh Pluralist Theocracy of
Corporate Police State
Thank You for Your Intense Participation
Jonathan Bishop
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population4.436 billion

LeaderJonathan Bishop


The Welsh Pluralist Theocracy of Dzon is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Jonathan Bishop with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, ritual sacrifices, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.436 billion Dzonists are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, with Defense and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pontypridd. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Dzonistic economy, worth a remarkable 1,416 trillion euros a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 319,415 euros, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,760,842 per year while the poor average 6,038, a ratio of 457 to 1.

In musicals everybody's a little bit racist, flatulent people are left to die of cancer at the end of hospital waiting lists, deceased politicians' MyFace profiles are unanimously pro-incumbent, and gym teachers instruct advanced-level calculus classes. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Dzon's national animal is the kiwi, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Dzonism.

Dzon is ranked 3,031st in the world and 1st in The Confederation of Welsh Democracies for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 6,949.2 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Highest Wealthy Incomes: 276thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 298thLargest Gambling Industry: 307thFattest Citizens: 311thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 318thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 326thMost Avoided: 373rdMost Corrupt Governments: 430thLargest Retail Industry: 503rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 530thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 546thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 572ndLargest Insurance Industry: 632ndMost Armed: 673rdGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 688thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 760thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 799thHighest Crime Rates: 808thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 812thLargest Mining Sector: 1,287thHighest Average Incomes: 1,486thTop
Rudest Citizens: 1,869thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,176thMost Efficient Economies: 2,417thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,031stMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,195thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,656thMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,959thLargest Agricultural Sector: 5,170thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,578thTop
Highest Economic Output: 10,490thMost Influential: 12,199thMost Ignorant Citizens: 12,352ndMost Secular: 14,768thHighest Drug Use: 15,208thLargest Black Market: 16,680th

National Happenings

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