by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Advertisement

Rudest Citizens: 82ndMost Efficient Economies: 217thLargest Retail Industry: 246th
The Mountain Song of
Corporate Bordello
Listen for the Alpenhorn
Influence
Vassal
Noble
Region
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Map Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Dwarf

Population11.505 billion

CapitalHammerfall
LeaderTorfinn Peatbeard
FaithCult of the Mountain

Currencyore
AnimalMusk Ox

The Mountain Song of Dwarf is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Torfinn Peatbeard with a fair hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, otherworldly petting zoo, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 11.505 billion Dwarves are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hammerfall. The average income tax rate is 94.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Dwarfen economy, worth a remarkable 6,255 trillion ores a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 543,697 ores, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,976,813 per year while the poor average 106,395, a ratio of 18.6 to 1.

Visiting the best Dwarfen restaurants requires keeping a visa on file, traumatized ex-ambassadors seek treatment for their "desk dissociation", Dwarfen TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries, and charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses. Crime is totally unknown. Dwarf's national animal is the Musk Ox, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cult of the Mountain.

Dwarf is ranked 858th in the world and 1st in Middle Earth for Most Cultured, scoring 397 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 82ndMost Efficient Economies: 217thLargest Retail Industry: 246thLargest Publishing Industry: 248thLargest Agricultural Sector: 257thMost Subsidized Industry: 272ndHighest Average Incomes: 303rdMost Secular: 551stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 612thLargest Mining Sector: 612thMost Scientifically Advanced: 649thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 711thSmartest Citizens: 827thMost Cultured: 858thLargest Information Technology Sector: 864thLargest Black Market: 1,050thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,182ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,246thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,264thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,622ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,627thLargest Governments: 1,673rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,858thHighest Food Quality: 2,059thHighest Economic Output: 2,208thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,332ndMost Rebellious Youth: 2,348thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,408thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,555thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,709thMost Inclusive: 2,716thTop
5%
Most Developed: 3,348thFattest Citizens: 3,413thMost Patriotic: 3,462ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,971stMost Armed: 4,067thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,075thLargest Gambling Industry: 4,964thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,770thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,589thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,510thLargest Insurance Industry: 12,841stMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,023rdHighest Poor Incomes: 14,186thMost Influential: 14,933rdTop
10%
Longest Average Lifespans: 15,400thMost Stationary: 17,410thMost Pro-Market: 25,654th
Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 4th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionTop
10%
Most Politically Free: 7th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 9th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 9th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 10th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, Dwarfen TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, traumatized ex-ambassadors seek treatment for their "desk dissociation".
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, visiting the best Dwarfen restaurants requires keeping a visa on file.
  • : Dwarf lodged a message on the Middle Earth Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, the nation's new flagship trading company deals exclusively in things no one wants.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, the nation is wading into dangerous waters.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, survivors of the Great Internet Flame War often recount horror stories of banhammers and DOS attacks.

More...

Report