Population | 11.505 billion |
Capital | Hammerfall |
Leader | Torfinn Peatbeard |
Faith | Cult of the Mountain |
Currency | ore |
Animal | Musk Ox |
The Mountain Song of Dwarf is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Torfinn Peatbeard with a fair hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, otherworldly petting zoo, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 11.505 billion Dwarves are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.
The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hammerfall. The average income tax rate is 94.4%.
The frighteningly efficient Dwarfen economy, worth a remarkable 6,255 trillion ores a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 543,697 ores, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,976,813 per year while the poor average 106,395, a ratio of 18.6 to 1.
Visiting the best Dwarfen restaurants requires keeping a visa on file, traumatized ex-ambassadors seek treatment for their "desk dissociation", Dwarfen TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries, and charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses. Crime is totally unknown. Dwarf's national animal is the Musk Ox, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cult of the Mountain.
Dwarf is ranked 858th in the world and 1st in Middle Earth for Most Cultured, scoring 397 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses.
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, Dwarfen TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries.
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, traumatized ex-ambassadors seek treatment for their "desk dissociation".
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, visiting the best Dwarfen restaurants requires keeping a visa on file.
- : Dwarf lodged a message on the Middle Earth Regional Message Board.
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts.
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression.
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, the nation's new flagship trading company deals exclusively in things no one wants.
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, the nation is wading into dangerous waters.
- : Following new legislation in Dwarf, survivors of the Great Internet Flame War often recount horror stories of banhammers and DOS attacks.