by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 109thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 176thMost Efficient Economies: 286th
The Mountain Song of
Corporate Bordello
Listen for the Alpenhorn
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population7.538 billion

CapitalDwarf Fortress
LeaderFáfnir Longbeard
FaithCult of the Mountain Lord

AnimalMusk Ox

The Mountain Song of Dwarf is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Fáfnir Longbeard with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, complete lack of prisons, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 7.538 billion Dwarves are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dwarf Fortress. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Dwarfen economy, worth a remarkable 2,686 trillion ores a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 356,430 ores, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,193,551 per year while the poor average 5,122, a ratio of 623 to 1.

Seafood restaurants assure customers 'If it lives in the sea, it's on our menu', economists have been named Invertebrates of the Year, family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries, and films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay. Crime is totally unknown. Dwarf's national animal is the Musk Ox, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cult of the Mountain Lord.

Dwarf is ranked 3,043rd in the world and 2nd in Middle Earth for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 10,280.04 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Rudest Citizens: 109thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 176thMost Efficient Economies: 286thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 694thLargest Agricultural Sector: 718thLargest Publishing Industry: 766thMost Scientifically Advanced: 839thMost Secular: 899thLargest Retail Industry: 914thSmartest Citizens: 967thMost Subsidized Industry: 977thMost Cultured: 984thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,294thMost Pro-Market: 1,361stHighest Average Incomes: 1,394thLargest Mining Sector: 1,424thLargest Governments: 1,801stHighest Food Quality: 2,130thLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,359thTop
Most Inclusive: 2,790thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,871stMost Developed: 2,902ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,032ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,043rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,419thMost Patriotic: 3,589thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,039thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,599thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,821stHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,331stMost Advanced Public Education: 6,238thHighest Economic Output: 6,604thMost Corrupt Governments: 6,692ndLargest Welfare Programs: 7,670thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7,949thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,202ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 9,297thLongest Average Lifespans: 11,656thLowest Crime Rates: 12,021stLargest Black Market: 12,083rdTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,005thMost Valuable International Artwork: 16,333rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 19,854thMost Advanced Public Transport: 20,963rdHealthiest Citizens: 22,047thMost Influential: 22,314thMost Stationary: 23,394th
Most Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 2nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the regionMost Developed: 3rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 4th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 5th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 5th in the regionLargest Black Market: 6th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6th in the regionMost Armed: 6th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 7th in the regionMost Politically Free: 7th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 7th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 7th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 8th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 13th in the regionNudest: 13th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, economists have been named Invertebrates of the Year.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, seafood restaurants assure customers 'If it lives in the sea, it's on our menu'.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, it's best not to ask what goes into Dwarf Fortress Fried Chicken's secret blend of herbs and spices.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, directors of low-budget sci-fi films are flocking to use Dwarf Fortress as a backdrop.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, Dwarves believe manners maketh the leader.
  • : Dwarf was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Black Market.