The Mystical Isles of Dutchyland is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Dutchy with a fair hand, and notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, smutty television, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.364 billion Dutchylandians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dutchopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Dutchylandian economy, worth a remarkable 6,017 trillion Dutchers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 327,681 Dutchers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Royalist is the most offensive slur in the Dutchylandian language, cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy, cars have been banned, and nude art is becoming wildly popular. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dutchyland's national animal is the Dutchay, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Dutchyland is ranked 123^rd in the world and 9^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 246.33 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.