The Mystical Isles of Dutchyland is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Dutchy with a fair hand, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, anti-smoking policies, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 15.867 billion Dutchylandians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dutchopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Dutchylandian economy, worth a remarkable 5,121 trillion Dutchers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 322,751 Dutchers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, the government's new priority is citizens' access to cat videos, helping grandma with her Misgendering 101 homework is a national rite of passage, and cane fights are a common sight in nursing homes. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dutchyland's national animal is the Dutchay, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Dutchyland is ranked 78^th in the world and 5^th in The North Pacific for Least Corrupt Governments, with 98.93 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.