The Black Lucky Holy Christmas of Durmengrad Prime is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Santa St Patrick with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, ubiquitous missile silos, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.276 billion denizens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Durmengrad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 52.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Durmengradian economy, worth a remarkable 1,443 trillion gold bar candy canes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 155,660 gold bar candy canes, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

The statue in the Cook Plaza has a solar panel for a hat, buses are widely regarded as the safest way to travel, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and the national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Durmengrad Prime's national animal is the zombie reindeer pony leprechaun, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Violetism.

Durmengrad Prime is ranked 321,911^th in the world and 15,074^th in Osiris for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 34.54 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.