The Unicorns of Dorti Saingsmeistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Unicorn with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, aversion to nipples, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 11.507 billion Nerds are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Unicorn City. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient A Nerd economy, worth a remarkable 2,630 trillion Nerds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 228,639 Nerds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 840,437 per year while the poor average 43,983, a ratio of 19.1 to 1.

Distrust of taps has many people bathing only with bottled mineral water, heart attacks are regarded as a coming of age ritual, deli patrons examine their roast beef for undetonated explosives, and international terrorists often get their weapons supply in Dorti Saingsmeistan. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dorti Saingsmeistan's national animal is the Unicorn, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Violet.

Dorti Saingsmeistan is ranked 268,503^rd in the world and 112^th in Nerdlandia for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2.58 pounds of wildlife per square mile.