by Max Barry

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Most Secular: 2,560thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,858thMost Armed: 3,019th
The Federative Republics of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Actually please come here
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.7 billion

LeaderComrade Vostory
FaithTrotskyist Socialism

AnimalRed Cormorant

The Federative Republics of DoNotComeHere is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Comrade Vostory with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.7 billion Comrades are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baikonur. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Communist economy, worth 404 trillion фяиμτзπs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 149,705 фяиμτзπs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Email killed the radio star, everyone suspects that everyone else is a terrorist, the military will start wars with other nations on a lark, and hairdressers are among those who have disappeared overnight. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. DoNotComeHere's national animal is the Red Cormorant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Trotskyist Socialism.

DoNotComeHere is ranked 166,128th in the world and 223rd in New Western Empire for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -4 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.

Most Secular: 2,560thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,858thMost Armed: 3,019thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,332ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,413thLowest Crime Rates: 3,666thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,125thNudest: 4,665thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,845thMost Conservative: 4,873rdMost Authoritarian: 5,073rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,354thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,480thLargest Governments: 5,954thMost Developed: 6,422ndLargest Welfare Programs: 8,452ndMost Advanced Public Education: 8,540thLongest Average Lifespans: 8,783rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,627thHealthiest Citizens: 9,772ndTop
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,428thMost Beautiful Environments: 11,765thHighest Poor Incomes: 12,097thSmartest Citizens: 12,481stMost Scientifically Advanced: 13,037thHighest Average Incomes: 13,492ndBest Weather: 15,088thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 15,490thMost Extreme: 16,292ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,394thLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,177thMost Subsidized Industry: 18,435thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 19,287th
Most Conservative: 3rd in the regionNudest: 6th in the regionMost Extreme: 6th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 7th in the regionMost Secular: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7th in the regionMost Armed: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 11th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 13th in the regionTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 14th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 15th in the regionLargest Governments: 15th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 15th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 15th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 19th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 22nd in the regionMost Developed: 24th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 26th in the region

National Happenings

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