The Holy Empire of Dogbreathistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by A Labrador Retriver with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, unlimited-speed roads, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 19.929 billion Dogbreathistanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Couch. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Dogbreathistanian economy, worth a remarkable 6,538 trillion Dog Poops a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 328,093 Dog Poops, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,210,448 per year while the poor average 62,753, a ratio of 19.3 to 1.

Citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts, it's best not to ask what goes into The Couch Fried Chicken's secret blend of herbs and spices, it is illegal to brush crumbs off your clothing outdoors, and the skeletons of lost tourists litter the ground of the Great Dogbreathistanian Desert. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Dogbreathistan's national animal is the Dog, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Dogbreathistan is ranked 788^th in the world and 7^th in Texas for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 12,163.1 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.