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The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 May - June
2017
May - June
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May 1st, 2017
- • Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #066
• UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #081
• High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #504
• The government is giving peace a chance. #312
May 2nd, 2017
- • Same-sex marriages are increasingly common. #001
• Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626
• Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164
May 3rd, 2017
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,147th in the world and 183rd in Lazarus for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 34 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.
• Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. #365
• Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
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May 4th, 2017
- • It is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma. #705
• RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
• Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #719
• Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from Liberal Democratic Socialists to a Left-wing Utopia.
May 5th 2017
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,051st in the world and 227th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 193,476.78 Standard Monetary Units.
• Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #062
• Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
• Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads. #148 lowers lowers Intelligence 196.31 → 196.20 -0.06%, Civil Rights 72.52 → 71.57 -1.3%
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Left-wing Utopia to Liberal Democratic Socialists.
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May 7th 2017
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 123rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 3,842.4 Tourists Per Hour.
• Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #670
• The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #064
• A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #031
• Divine Cervine's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region. #013 increases Rudeness 5.40 → 5.41 +0.19%
• Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485
• Turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'. #510
May 8th 2017
- • The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #644
• Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
May 9th 2017
- • The government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. #262
• Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
May 10th 2017
- • It is illegal to make racist remarks in public. #022 increases Rudeness 5.39 → 5.49 +1.9%, dismiss
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from Liberal Democratic Socialists to Democratic Socialists.
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good. Civil Rights 69.90 → 67.57 -3.3%
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from Excellent to Very Good. Political Freedom 73.33 → 68.57 -6.5%
• The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #029
• Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent. Civil Rights 66.90 → 70.24 +5.0%
• Serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk. #721
May 11th 2017
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 763rd in the world and 25th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 198.24 Quips Per Hour.
• The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #252
• Citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages. #115
• Divine Cervine gained the banner Foundry by developing a solid industrial base.
• Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364
• The newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat. #269
May 12th 2017
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 763rd in the world and 25th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 198.29 Quips Per Hour.
• The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633
• The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
• Divine Cervine has reached 100% Income Equality.
• Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
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May 13th 2017
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 7,383rd in the world and 277th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 314.32 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport.
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Income Equality.
• Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516
• Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #069
• School children asked "what is two times two?" are likely to form a symposium to discuss how different answers make them feel. #668
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May 14th 2017
- • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Secular.
• Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630
• Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field. #373
May 15th 2017
- • The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
• Ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward. #728
May 16th 2017
- • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-luminous orb mansions. #127
• Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. #709
May 17th 2017
- • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501
• Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #071
May 19th 2017
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 147th in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 9,274.59 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
• Workers have seized control of the economy. #339
• Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239
• The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #637
• The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #462
• The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #261
May 20th, 2017• The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine was founded on this day in the year 2015.
• Divine Cervine is ranked 16,373rd in the world and 474th in Lazarus for Most Influential, scoring 1,462 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.
• Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
• The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. #720
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May 21st 2017
- • Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #263
• Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #023
May 22nd 2017
- • Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #066
• Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes. #200
• The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #198
May 23rd 2017
- • Long arduous trials are held for the most trivial of offences. #131
• People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #056
May 24th 2017
- • Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #122
• Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638
• Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #663
• Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #573
May 25th 2017
- • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport.
• The nation is ravaged by daily union strikes. #016
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May 26th 2017
- • Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #047
• Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
• The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
May 27th 2017
- • Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed
May 28th 2017
- • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557
• Organ donation is compulsory. #026 lowers Civil Rights 69.52 → 68.57 -1.4%
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
May 29th 2017
- • Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
• Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #099
• Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293
• Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565
May 30th 2017
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,250th in the world and 186th in Lazarus for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 33 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.
• The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Pacifist.
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May 31st 2017
- • Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #490
• A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #083
• The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #589
• In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
• Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602
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June 1st, 2017 June 2nd 2017 June 3rd 2017 June 5th 2017 June 6th 2017 June 7th 2017 June 8th 2017 June 9th 2017 June 10th 2017 June 11th 2017 June 12th 2017 June 13th 2017 June 14th 2017 June 16th 2017 June 17th 2017 June 18th 2017 June 19th 2017 June 20th 2017 June 21st 2017 June 22nd 2017 June 23rd 2017 June 24th 2017 June 25th 2017 June 26th 2017 June 27th 2017 June 29th 2017 June 30th 2017• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport.
• Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630
• Supervisors in Divine Cervine commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. #732• Divine Cervine is ranked 14th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 535.24 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
• There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees her shadow. #733
• The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law. #338
_• The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #035
• The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #462• Divine Cervine is ranked 60th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 193.41 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
• The national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. #341
• The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #135
• Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #663
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_• Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
• Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #410
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
• There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138• Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
• Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #683
• Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #053
• Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-luminous orb mansions. #127
• Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556
• Every workday begins with group therapy. #496
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Compassionate.
• A new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision. #324
• The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145• Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #053
• Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
• Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632• Divine Cervine is ranked 15,976th in the world and 464th in Lazarus for Most Influential, scoring 1,505 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.
• The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419
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_• There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #739
• Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
• The government is using tax revenues to provide jobs for the poor. #255• Divine Cervine is ranked 4,577th in the world and 191st in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 200,246.4 Standard Monetary Units.
• Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants. #576
• Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
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_• Divine Cervine is ranked 340th in the world and 11th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 87.67 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
• Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #675
• Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #492
• Businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders. #305
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_• The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #261
• The mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations. #049
• Divine Cervine's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. #237
• People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582
• Park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers. #749• National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #297
• The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547• There is a dearth of space for new houses. #331
• A new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision. #324
• The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.• The number of students attending university has reached a record high. #209
• Divine Cervine is ranked 150th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 1,113 Meters Of Sunlight.
• Same-sex marriages are increasingly common. #001
• The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #252
• People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #092
• Military funding has been stripped back. #014
• Serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk. #721• The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #342
• Almost all of Divine Cervine's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264
• Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364• Divine Cervine is ranked 78th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 134.35 Average Smiles Per Day.
• Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
• An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577
• Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
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_• The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222
• School children asked "what is two times two?" are likely to form a symposium to discuss how different answers make them feel. #668• The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
• Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518
• Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Very Good to Excellent.• The newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat. #269
• Divine Cervine is ranked 520th in the world and 18th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 350 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.
• Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579
• Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "Love and peace!" as a way of life. #190
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_• Divine Cervine is ranked 106th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 4,009.82 Tourists Per Hour.
• A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #750
• Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600
• Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
• Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #525
• Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485
• The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653• Divine Cervine is ranked 281st in the world and 11th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 100 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
• Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #685
• The government funds large training centres to turn purple fairy deer into functioning members of society. #133
• Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 July - August" (Factbook: History).
