The Holy Federal Republic of Diophantine is a huge, cultured nation, ruled by Councillor Siobhán Ní Fiannachta with a fair hand, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 913 million Diophantinians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gaillimh. The average income tax rate is 82.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Diophantinian economy, worth 85.8 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is 93,956 gold bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Grannies get pulled over for knitting pullovers while driving, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, and the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Diophantine's national animal is the leprechaun, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Diophantine is ranked 199,599^th in the world and 901^st in Europe for Largest Black Market, with 19.9 billion Standard Monetary Units.