The Autocracy of Desibia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by David Rodrenez with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, ritual sacrifices, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.7 billion Desibians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vialusa. The average income tax rate is 75.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Desibian economy, worth 484 trillion dollars a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 131,080 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Animal control is going door-to-door releasing all pets back into the wild, government officials are phoning up good-looking celebrities to say they want to breed with them, politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income, and David Rodrenez claims to be the epitome of family values. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Desibia's national animal is the coyote, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Catholic Christianity.

Desibia is ranked 198,384^th in the world and 607^th in Europe for Highest Crime Rates, with 2.46 crimes per hour.