by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 24th Largest Retail Industry: 47th Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 49th
The Telkiderh koma of
Corporate Police State
goma akheshederh a shemashe a komshana ode ukh
Regional Influence
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Telkiderh koma of De Hork is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a ikharul dede with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, flagrant waste-dumping, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.956 billion arulshe are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of a aboderh ikhak. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient arulderh economy, worth a remarkable 4,650 trillion derhkhes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 388,982 derhkhes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,619,760 per year while the poor average 21,502, a ratio of 121 to 1.

Only the wealthy can afford monorail fares, parents often ask to see a credit report before lending money to their own children, Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park, and exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. De Hork's national animal is the bo'i borulukh, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Esheturborul Badit.

De Hork is ranked 131,620th in the world and 11th in toilet arsonist appreciation society for Highest Crime Rates, with 2.01 Crimes Per Hour.

Most Primitive: 24thLargest Retail Industry: 47thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 49thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 79thLargest Gambling Industry: 82ndLargest Insurance Industry: 87thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 90thMost Ignorant Citizens: 92ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 94thMost Avoided: 105thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 115thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 133rdFattest Citizens: 149thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 149thMost Corrupt Governments: 197thLargest Mining Sector: 252ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 253rdMost Devout: 308thHighest Average Incomes: 442ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 675thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 844thRudest Citizens: 955thLargest Agricultural Sector: 975thHighest Economic Output: 1,182ndTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,143rdMost Conservative: 4,515thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4,977thMost Extreme: 5,571stMost Pro-Market: 6,105thLargest Black Market: 6,229thTop
Most Stationary: 8,227thLargest Populations: 9,846thMost Efficient Economies: 10,477thMost Influential: 12,681st
Most Influential: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in De Hork, exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling.
  • : Following new legislation in De Hork, Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park.
  • : Following new legislation in De Hork, parents often ask to see a credit report before lending money to their own children.
  • : Following new legislation in De Hork, only the wealthy can afford monorail fares.
  • : Following new legislation in De Hork, one lone government employee can be seen hunting for the elusive stray white dog.
  • : Following new legislation in De Hork, one year's corporation tax from three international megacorporations has funded one dozen shiny black pencils for a ikharul dede's office.
  • : De Hork lodged a message on the Toilet arsonist appreciation society Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in De Hork, commemorative mugs remembering last year's Black Friday Crockery Riots are a best seller this year.
  • : De Hork published "on ikharul a dede" (Factbook: Politics).
  • : Following new legislation in De Hork, toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam".


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