by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 26th Most Corrupt Governments: 29th Largest Gambling Industry: 31st
The Kingdom of
Corporate Police State
gold or lead
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population10.67 billion

CapitalDarkmen City
Leaderagustus nero

Currencyhuman females

The Kingdom of Darkmen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by agustus nero with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, free-roaming dinosaurs, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.67 billion Darkmenians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darkmen City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Darkmenian economy, worth a remarkable 5,363 trillion human femaleses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 502,674 human femaleses, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,001,721 per year while the poor average 85,029, a ratio of 23.5 to 1.

Politicians tack on a service charge for assisting with casework, breastfeeding mothers are replacing smokers to loiter outside the workplace, the government has stated an intention to min-max its stats for 'teh pwnage', and countless government officials are accused of espionage. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Darkmen's national animal is the rancors, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Darkmen is ranked 175,474th in the world and 7,942nd in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 0.15 Quips Per Hour.

Largest Retail Industry: 26thMost Corrupt Governments: 29thLargest Gambling Industry: 31stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 39thMost Ignorant Citizens: 40thMost Avoided: 46thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 53rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 58thFattest Citizens: 64thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 90thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 91stHighest Disposable Incomes: 97thLargest Insurance Industry: 101stMost Devout: 117thLargest Mining Sector: 134thMost Primitive: 179thHighest Average Incomes: 223rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 244thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 296thRudest Citizens: 311thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 401stMost Armed: 413thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 528thLargest Agricultural Sector: 604thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 617thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 883rdHighest Economic Output: 1,223rdTop
Most Efficient Economies: 3,780thMost Stationary: 5,734thLargest Black Market: 7,656thTop
Most Influential: 10,846thLargest Governments: 12,050thMost Conservative: 12,131stGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 13,070thHighest Poor Incomes: 13,367thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13,530th
Largest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Devout: 6th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 6th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Primitive: 7th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionRudest Citizens: 11th in the regionMost Armed: 11th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 18th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 20th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 20th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 58th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 111th in the regionMost Stationary: 118th in the regionLargest Populations: 198th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 262nd in the regionLargest Governments: 295th in the regionTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 405th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 451st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 500th in the regionMost Conservative: 620th in the regionMost Influential: 695th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, countless government officials are accused of espionage.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the government has stated an intention to min-max its stats for 'teh pwnage'.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, breastfeeding mothers are replacing smokers to loiter outside the workplace.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, politicians tack on a service charge for assisting with casework.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, recent events in Dàguó have been classified 'for agustus nero's eyes only'.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, anyone interested in the stock market is investigated.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, Darkmen successfully hosted the the South Pacific Olympics.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, theft is considered to be okay if the crime happened a long time ago.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, mostly women are seen and not heard.


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