by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 18th Largest Gambling Industry: 25th Most Corrupt Governments: 30th
The Kingdom of
Iron Fist Consumerists
gold or lead
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck


Population9.742 billion

CapitalDarkmen City
Leaderagustus nero

Currencyhuman females

The Kingdom of Darkmen is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by agustus nero with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, complete lack of prisons, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.742 billion Darkmenians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darkmen City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Darkmenian economy, worth a remarkable 4,901 trillion human femaleses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 503,163 human femaleses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears, earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss, and visitors to the famed rainforests are instead taken to vast furniture factories. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Darkmen's national animal is the rancors, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Darkmen is ranked 166,172nd in the world and 7,351st in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 39.27 on the Human Development Index.

Largest Retail Industry: 18thLargest Gambling Industry: 25thMost Corrupt Governments: 30thMost Ignorant Citizens: 35thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 42ndMost Avoided: 49thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 50thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 56thFattest Citizens: 62ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 88thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 97thHighest Disposable Incomes: 98thLargest Insurance Industry: 100thMost Devout: 103rdLargest Mining Sector: 128thMost Primitive: 139thHighest Average Incomes: 203rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 252ndMost Armed: 322ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 368thHighest Poor Incomes: 393rdRudest Citizens: 409thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 553rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 555thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 576thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 782ndHighest Economic Output: 1,335thTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 1,778thLargest Black Market: 2,740thHighest Crime Rates: 3,250thMost Efficient Economies: 3,859thMost Stationary: 6,081stTop
Most Influential: 11,004thMost Conservative: 15,257thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 15,545th
Most Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionMost Primitive: 6th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Devout: 7th in the regionMost Armed: 10th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 10th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 14th in the regionRudest Citizens: 16th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 18th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 21st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 31st in the regionLargest Black Market: 49th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 61st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 73rd in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 126th in the regionLargest Populations: 227th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 285th in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 453rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 596th in the regionMost Influential: 636th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, visitors to the famed rainforests are instead taken to vast furniture factories.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, jaywalking is punishable by public flogging.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the poor are forced into bankruptcy by their energy bills.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, when it comes to WMDs Darkmen has declared that the only winning move is not to play.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, Jack Russells have proven to be terrible spies.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls.


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