by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 22nd Largest Gambling Industry: 30th Most Corrupt Governments: 33rd
The Kingdom of
Corporate Police State
gold or lead
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck


Population9.413 billion

CapitalDarkmen City
Leaderagustus nero

Currencyhuman females

The Kingdom of Darkmen is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by agustus nero with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, strictly enforced bedtime, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.413 billion Darkmenians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darkmen City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Darkmenian economy, worth a remarkable 4,575 trillion human femaleses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 486,128 human femaleses, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,339,713 per year while the poor average 58,851, a ratio of 39.8 to 1.

Tabloids coo over Agustus nero's expected child, naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, the giant 80-storey carving of agustus nero in Mount Rushless can be seen from space, and some are born loving old plays and some have old plays thrust upon them. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Darkmen's national animal is the rancors, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Darkmen is ranked 107th in the world and 7th in the South Pacific for Most Devout, with 26,641.3 Prayers Per Hour.

Largest Retail Industry: 22ndLargest Gambling Industry: 30thMost Corrupt Governments: 33rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 37thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 41stMost Avoided: 49thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 58thFattest Citizens: 63rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 71stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 95thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 99thMost Devout: 107thLargest Insurance Industry: 109thHighest Disposable Incomes: 114thMost Primitive: 116thLargest Mining Sector: 148thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 172ndHighest Average Incomes: 233rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 274thRudest Citizens: 293rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 425thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 583rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 599thMost Armed: 601stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 649thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 778thHighest Economic Output: 1,485thTop
Highest Crime Rates: 2,605thMost Efficient Economies: 3,910thMost Stationary: 6,279thMost Conservative: 6,564thLargest Black Market: 7,552ndTop
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 8,236thMost Influential: 11,117thMost Extreme: 13,220th
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 4th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 6th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Primitive: 6th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionMost Devout: 7th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionRudest Citizens: 14th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 15th in the regionMost Armed: 16th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 19th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 20th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 23rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 61st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 64th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 108th in the regionMost Stationary: 127th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 237th in the regionLargest Populations: 259th in the regionTop
Most Conservative: 387th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 415th in the regionLargest Governments: 571st in the regionMost Extreme: 586th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 604th in the regionMost Influential: 618th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, some are born loving old plays and some have old plays thrust upon them.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the giant 80-storey carving of agustus nero in Mount Rushless can be seen from space.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, tabloids coo over Agustus nero's expected child.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, a baby's first breath is also a baby's first felony.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the only record being broken at sporting events is the highest death toll.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, government officials are phoning up good-looking celebrities to say they want to breed with them.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the banshee wail foretells skies of death.


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