The Kingdom of Darkmen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by agustus nero with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, free-roaming dinosaurs, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.67 billion Darkmenians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darkmen City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Darkmenian economy, worth a remarkable 5,363 trillion human femaleses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 502,674 human femaleses, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,001,721 per year while the poor average 85,029, a ratio of 23.5 to 1.

Politicians tack on a service charge for assisting with casework, breastfeeding mothers are replacing smokers to loiter outside the workplace, the government has stated an intention to min-max its stats for 'teh pwnage', and countless government officials are accused of espionage. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Darkmen's national animal is the rancors, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Darkmen is ranked 175,474^th in the world and 7,942^nd in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 0.15 Quips Per Hour.