The One True Rule of Darkhaven is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Dark One with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.56 billion Darkhavians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Efrafa. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The very strong Darkhavian economy, worth 623 trillion Flayrahs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 243,414 Flayrahs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens know not to ask what their country can do for them but what they can do as chained slaves for their country, the nation's student exchange programs are something of a one way street, the government is well known for declaring war on other countries for suspected slights, and prison libraries are being replaced with interrogation chambers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Darkhaven's national animal is the Darkie, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Darkyism.

Darkhaven is ranked 1,299^th in the world and 1^st in Jazzitopia for Most Primitive, scoring 218.38 on the Scary Big Number Scale.