The Republic of Darkbeast Paarl is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, avant-garde cinema, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate population of 3.376 billion Darkbeast Paarlians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 45.5%.

The large but inefficient Darkbeast Paarlian economy, worth 116 trillion bitcoins a year, is led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 34,552 bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Rumor has it that Leader has won three lotteries in a row, stony-faced prosecutors play loud gangster rap music during court proceedings, families returning from international vacations are unable to get their children back into the country, and the nation's reputation for treachery has left it sidelined on the international stage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Darkbeast Paarl's national animal is the sheep, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Darkbeast Paarl is ranked 160,585^th in the world and 6^th in The Old Days for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 197.83 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.