The Poets Light But Lamps of Dar es Saalam is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Saint Catherine of Siena with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 21.851 billion Lamis have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dodoma. The average income tax rate is 94.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Dar es Saalamian economy, worth a remarkable 7,557 trillion Silver Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, Retail, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 345,887 Silver Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The army consists of only generals and grunts, school children declare that teachers "may confiscate our toys but they can never take our FREEDOM", petitions to the government are being used to insulate politicians' office walls, and the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dar es Saalam's national animal is the North Pacific Toxic Monkey, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Dar es Saalam is ranked 11,891^st in the world and 1^st in Cali for Highest Food Quality, scoring 147.39 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.