The Poets Light But Lamps of Dar es Saalam is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Julius Nyerere with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 18.303 billion Lamis are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dodoma. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 85.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Dar es Saalamian economy, worth a remarkable 5,407 trillion Drachmas a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 295,447 Drachmas, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

The "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away, workers have their fruitcake and eat it too, rumor has it that Julius Nyerere has won three lotteries in a row, and the government is rumored to hire body doubles whose full-time jobs are to cry at public events. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dar es Saalam's national animal is the Orca, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Dar es Saalam is ranked 136,421^st in the world and 4,814^th in The North Pacific for Most Conservative, scoring 48.71 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.