The Armed States of Dacian Freelands is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Commander Vlad II with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 13.303 billion Dacians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sarmisegetuza. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Dacian economy, worth a remarkable 4,145 trillion RONS a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 311,588 RONS, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Supreme Commander Vlad II tells rebellious ministers to "drop and give me twenty", bizarre-looking creatures called 'Wolfdogs' dominate wildlife preserves, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, and EpiPen sales have skyrocketed. Crime is totally unknown. Dacian Freelands's national animal is the Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orthodoxy.

Dacian Freelands is ranked 78,617^th in the world and 4,189^th in The North Pacific for Most Income Equality, scoring 47.43 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.