by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 1,265thMost Pacifist: 5,787thMost Patriotic: 6,251st
The Panda Republic of
Psychotic Dictatorship
熊貓 祝福我們有好運和愛,我們非常感謝這個世界,我們愛熊貓,我們是熊貓人
Meiyan the Panda Keeper
Influence
Eminence Grise
Founder
Region
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS

Population6.185 billion

CapitalChengdu-Shengxuahuaronggong City
LeaderMeiyan the Panda Keeper
FaithPanda Confucianism

CurrencyPanda Yuan
AnimalGiant Panda

The Panda Republic of CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Meiyan the Panda Keeper with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, zero percent divorce rate, and daily referendums. The compassionate, cynical population of 6.185 billion Pandas are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chengdu-Shengxuahuaronggong City. The average income tax rate is 81.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Panda economy, worth 702 trillion Panda Yuan a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 113,635 Panda Yuan, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Patriots insist that size does matter, there's a lot of mouth-breathers about these days, badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game, and government popup ads are springing up like weeds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS's national animal is the Giant Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Panda Confucianism.

CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS is ranked 126,760th in the world and 4th in Panda Land for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 757.55 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 1,265thTop
5%
Most Pacifist: 5,787thMost Patriotic: 6,251stHealthiest Citizens: 7,034thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,110thBest Weather: 7,609thLongest Average Lifespans: 8,196thLowest Crime Rates: 8,490thMost Compassionate Citizens: 9,320thNicest Citizens: 10,148thMost Developed: 10,664thLargest Welfare Programs: 10,740thHighest Poor Incomes: 11,296thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,398thMost Authoritarian: 12,826thMost Beautiful Environments: 12,969thSafest: 13,016thTop
10%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,952ndMost Income Equality: 14,397thHighest Average Tax Rates: 14,931stLargest Information Technology Sector: 15,455thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,189thMost Advanced Public Education: 16,367thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 18,169thLargest Governments: 18,368thSmartest Citizens: 18,975thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,866thMost Inclusive: 20,797thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 21,458thMost Subsidized Industry: 21,748thMost Corrupt Governments: 21,847thHighest Food Quality: 23,109thMost Efficient Economies: 23,886th
Top
10%
Longest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, government popup ads are springing up like weeds.
  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game.
  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, there's a lot of mouth-breathers about these days.
  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, patriots insist that size does matter.
  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field.
  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, dandruff and athlete's foot are seen as signs of physical beauty.
  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, citizens who don't recite the Pledge of CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list.
  • : CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS lodged a message on the Panda Land Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, brave curators do battle with disorganised government libraries.
  • : Following new legislation in CUTE PANDASSSSSSSSSSSS, Pandas are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks.

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