The Very Protective Nation of Cultamia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by The Knight who says Ni with an iron fist, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 1.749 billion Cultists are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despotville. The average income tax rate is 88.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Cultamian economy, worth 240 trillion Geos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 137,607 Geos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There have been reports of people marrying housepets, the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons, and no one believes anything until it has been strenuously tested and peer-reviewed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cultamia's national animal is the Peregrine Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Nord VPN.

Cultamia is ranked 14,744^th in the world and 1^st in Beaveria for Largest Governments, scoring 33.08 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.