The Socialist Republic of Cuillin is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Madame Self with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful population of 24.983 billion Cuillinish are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Red Clydeside. The average income tax rate is 94.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Cuillinish economy, worth a remarkable 3,804 trillion work credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 152,295 work credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation has declared its intention to "stretch out", children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, the nation turns a blind eye to human rights abuses in its quest for athletic supremacy, and molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public. Crime is totally unknown. Cuillin's national animal is the Giant Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Marxism.

Cuillin is ranked 315,736^th in the world and 281^st in Forest for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -24.67 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.