The Free Land of Cucutenium is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Bastian I with a fair hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.277 billion Cucutenians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Toplita. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Cucuteniumian economy, worth 174 trillion stones a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 136,547 stones, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 403,016 per year while the poor average 36,382, a ratio of 11.1 to 1.

Scaffolding is built around scaffolding to give safe access, sales of trenchcoats are on the rise, enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity, and hundreds of thousands of convicts work as slaves in Cucutenium's many privately-owned prisons. Crime is totally unknown. Cucutenium's national animal is the Honey Badger, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cucutenium is ranked 21,281^st in the world and 669^th in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 966.95 pounds of wildlife per square mile.