by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,334th Most Influential: 3,178th Nicest Citizens: 4,159th
The Oppressed Peoples of
Civil Rights Lovefest
From Many, One
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population1.027 billion

CapitalDisappointment City
LeaderQueen Sadness


The Oppressed Peoples of Cryland is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Queen Sadness with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 1.027 billion Crylandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Welfare, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Defense isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Disappointment City. The average income tax rate is 70.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crylandian economy, worth 108 trillion Tears a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 105,242 Tears, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The parliament building has installed a revolving door, autopsies often involve only cursory examination, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Crylandian satellites can detect it, and many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cryland's national animal is the Blobfish, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cryland is ranked 44,590th in the world and 1,845th in the West Pacific for Most Income Equality, scoring 51.05 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,334thMost Influential: 3,178thNicest Citizens: 4,159thMost Compassionate Citizens: 4,237thMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,545thMost Pacifist: 5,520thMost Inclusive: 5,808thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,016thMost Politically Free: 7,036thBest Weather: 7,059thLargest Welfare Programs: 7,829thTop
Most Developed: 9,916thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,160thHealthiest Citizens: 10,804thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10,904thSafest: 12,077thMost Beautiful Environments: 12,194thMost Advanced Public Education: 12,695thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,727thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,139thLargest Publishing Industry: 13,994thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 15,033rdMost Cultured: 15,144thLowest Crime Rates: 15,145thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,611thSmartest Citizens: 16,058thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 16,087th
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 63rd in the regionTop
Most Influential: 70th in the regionMost Politically Free: 83rd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 94th in the regionNicest Citizens: 101st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 106th in the regionMost Pacifist: 145th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 149th in the regionMost Inclusive: 156th in the regionBest Weather: 186th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 198th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 262nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 271st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 271st in the regionMost Developed: 273rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 278th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 292nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 293rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 305th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 316th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 338th in the regionTop
Most Cultured: 350th in the regionSafest: 364th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 367th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 399th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 408th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 458th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 468th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 497th in the regionLargest Governments: 524th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 612th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Crylandian satellites can detect it.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, autopsies often involve only cursory examination.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, the parliament building has installed a revolving door.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, even religious militants can be swayed by the power of #love.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, government officials have to mortgage their homes to make ends meet.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, evenings at university debating societies often end with everyone acknowledging both sides may well be right.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, photos of picturesque coastal buildings are set against a backdrop of smokestacks and ship hulls.
  • : Following new legislation in Cryland, clergy never mention brand names for fear of losing their government subsidies.


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