by Max Barry

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Lowest Crime Rates: 32ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 49thMost Patriotic: 64th
The Theocracy of
Psychotic Dictatorship
The light of God is a great wealth!
The High Priest
Influence
Negotiator
WA Delegate
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Croldai

Population14.494 billion

CapitalThe DEN
LeaderThe High Priest
FaithRoman Catholicism

CurrencyCrol
AnimalCoyote

The Theocracy of Croldai is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The High Priest with an iron fist, and notable for its avant-garde cinema, zero percent divorce rate, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.494 billion Croldaians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The DEN. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Croldaian economy, worth a remarkable 6,339 trillion Crols a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 437,367 Crols, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There is no such thing as an innocent fling in the Croldaian military, love is given from each according to their ability but marriage is assigned to each according to their needs, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and there is a dearth of space for new houses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Croldai's national animal is the Coyote, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Croldai is ranked 79th in the world and 1st in The Black Hawks for Most Developed, scoring 100.41 on the Human Development Index.

Top
1%
Lowest Crime Rates: 32ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 49thMost Patriotic: 64thLargest Governments: 70thMost Devout: 70thMost Developed: 79thLongest Average Lifespans: 88thMost Beautiful Environments: 109thHealthiest Citizens: 131stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 133rdMost Advanced Public Education: 160thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 164thSmartest Citizens: 164thBest Weather: 178thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 204thMost Efficient Economies: 217thHighest Poor Incomes: 218thMost Corrupt Governments: 375thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 395thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 404thSafest: 507thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 539thMost Armed: 583rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 603rdHighest Average Incomes: 649thLargest Information Technology Sector: 716thMost Cultured: 852ndMost Subsidized Industry: 969thMost Authoritarian: 1,158thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,180thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,228thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,480thHighest Economic Output: 1,738thMost Extreme: 1,854thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,422ndTop
5%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 3,174thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,980thMost Influential: 5,596thMost Stationary: 7,241stHighest Food Quality: 7,394thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,565thMost Conservative: 9,552ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 9,646thTop
10%
Largest Populations: 22,015thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 24,003rdMost Income Equality: 24,550th
Top
1%
Best Weather: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionTop
5%
Most Authoritarian: 4th in the regionMost Extreme: 4th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 6th in the regionMost Stationary: 6th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 11th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 12th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Populations: 22nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 28th in the regionMost Conservative: 32nd in the regionMost Income Equality: 33rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, there is a dearth of space for new houses.
  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets.
  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, love is given from each according to their ability but marriage is assigned to each according to their needs.
  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the Croldaian military.
  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, people reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight.
  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, putting a mustache on a banknote is considered defacing a national monument.
  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, EULAs remind customers that "Private Mode" is a browser setting rather than a promise.
  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, military instructors tire of being asked for another bedtime story by seven-year-old conscripts.
  • : Following new legislation in Croldai, ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward.
  • : Croldai was endorsed by The Republic of South Basarabia.

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