by Max Barry

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Largest Soda Pop Sector: 565thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 917thHighest Crime Rates: 935th
The Devastation of
Hit it With a Rock
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Cro Magnon

Population14.051 billion

CapitalThe Fire Pit
Leadera council of Dons

Currencyshiny stone
AnimalWoolly Mammoth

The Devastation of Cro Magnon is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a council of Dons with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, rampant corporate plagiarism, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.051 billion Cro Mags live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Fire Pit. Income tax is unheard of.

The all-consuming Cro Magnon economy, worth a remarkable 1,303 trillion shiny stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 92,789 shiny stones, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, closed universities are currently being converted into MacDonald's restaurants, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, and Humongo-Mart's Beef 'n Woolly Mammoth Lasagne is a hit. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cro Magnon's national animal is the Woolly Mammoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Darkesianism.

Cro Magnon is ranked 58,517th in the world and 878th in the West Pacific for Most Stationary, with 205.33804913912 Days.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 565thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 917thHighest Crime Rates: 935thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,191stMost Influential: 1,308thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,698thFattest Citizens: 1,928thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,960thHighest Drug Use: 1,976thTop
Most Armed: 2,088thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,437thMost Avoided: 2,989thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,115thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,536thRudest Citizens: 5,488thLargest Retail Industry: 6,146thHighest Disposable Incomes: 7,620thLargest Mining Sector: 9,194thTop
Highest Economic Output: 12,464thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 13,255thMost Politically Free: 13,406thLargest Populations: 15,484thNudest: 19,253rd
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 13th in the regionMost Influential: 15th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 17th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 29th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 34th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 36th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 39th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 40th in the regionFattest Citizens: 42nd in the regionMost Armed: 47th in the regionMost Avoided: 59th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 62nd in the regionTop
Most Politically Free: 78th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 86th in the regionLargest Populations: 133rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 150th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 153rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 158th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 177th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 198th in the regionNudest: 228th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 234th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 323rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 198 » Bran Astor, Bhang Bhang Duc, Kisovec, Recuecn, The Unified Missourtama States, Gastenburg, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Wickedly evil people, Sensorland, DiscGolfLand, Psikuta, Divina Patriae, Atheist States of Philippines, Arnic, Condonohia, Pi Island, United Adaikes, 3kruimels, Kittenlicious, Twisted Duality, Free Radio States, New Belia, Cryland, Crazy Waters, Constantinopolisia, Fallgriffin, Greg Tucker, Pandaland III, Pandaland II, Liberillia, Mirchusko, Comia Noracon, Leukogeras, Bigstickistan, Probablynotverygoodistan, Wyndward, Atleska, Denieria, Archonina, Sindria, Greynne, Quevilis, The Grandest Empire, Turacedran, Libterraria, The Fourth Redoubt, Dreamers for Hope, Glorious Existence, Rubberduckia, The Rega, and 148 others.Western End Them Son, Albyion Kingdom, Svanland, Pastern, Westwind, Nedtherland, Tropical Isles, Marina Nova, Granducato Toscana, Xupqeu, Desmosthenes and Burke, Oronia, Santos-Dominius, Rineia, Marshalia, Win Mints, Fielure, Matism, Great Sheriffdom, Kenestral, Maria, Thyrall, New Democratic Republic of Russia, The Father-Land, Mercia Regnum, Lynier, The Shark Islands, Numpties, Demonvine, Triestine, Bodusse, Mathematania, The North American Assembly, The Technocratic Ideas, Avadon, Winter Aura, Lavender Honey, Lanaroce, CaskistalanarisKirkjubjark, Loegries, Fuentana, Sniki, The United Tribes of Bantai, My Anxiety, Imperial Eascalsh Ohavillbell, Wooloopolis, Neon Sweden, Dankinsted, Vasilism, Tyrea, Common Good, Shaktirajya, Ingentis Novus, Eritasia, Toberkuibac, Bova Ptaltand, The Undivided, Atopias, BoxcarJim, Ellcrys, Zenduria, Sik Levi, Robbinston, Dilber, Dalimbar, Papercuts and Skittles, Ferroia, Resurgence City, Gryphonian Alliance, Meedvheyt, Q The Almighty, Surroosia, Turizion, Euarsia, The Northeastern Confederation, The Isle of Burgrass, Scationtanland, Kiensu, Amanohara, Futuo, Al-Amanah, Nieubasria, Craiolia, Arracrania, Antahbrantahstan, IndyCar Racing, Moriari, Av Libertas Vindex, Eienn, Plankstein, Hiems, Parinan, Holmani, Mediobogdum, Zoran, Estriacea, Fujai, Anuubis, The Antarctic Empires, Saransh, Baleholm, Novasamita, Inner Paniumati, Rikanhimel, Carvell, Volkason, Sniper Slayers, Fallen Iron Duke, Ahssn, Giovanniland, Willow Gate, Rebal Elywuzzoia, Aluminum Oxynitride, Tijati, Gemiturkapistan, East Swedesia, Bonelandia, Bucals Kagotoaion, Democratic Peoples Freedonia, Eleftherios venizelos, KenyaAA, Altopan Gilange, El Facil, Bobki, Irador, Grand Republic of the Sun, Vlobbania, Glizerld, Purcheah, Peartlee, Wasgonia, Aldesport, SV Equinox, Troodan, Glenbeigh, The Citizens of Victoria, Starblazer, Region of Dwipantara, Ozis Isles, Hologaland, Thevinia, Tringapore, Pepinooo, Cumidava, Slawin Hall, San Diego Islands, Sirulinuck, and Kalla.

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