The Republic of Cream Island is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.888 billion Cream Islandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 46.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Cream Islandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,018 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 147,832 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Harry Potter books are banned, government-sponsored gallows are being erected by Violetist temples, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords, and punk-rockers and girl-bands are united in their loss of fashion statements. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cream Island's national animal is the Cream Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Cream Island is ranked 30,128^th in the world and 127^th in The grimy backyard of Bigej for Lowest Crime Rates, with 82.65 law-abiding acts per hour.