The Constitutional Monarchy of Craiglang is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Counsellor McVitty with a fair hand, and notable for its irreverence towards religion, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 3.467 billion Decrepit Auld Bastards hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jenny's. The average income tax rate is 65.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Craiglangian economy, worth 248 trillion Pound Sterlings a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 71,614 Pound Sterlings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Foreign policy is based upon the principle of sieve and take, carpet bombing has decimated Brasilistan's landscape and population, pocket calculators are seen as status symbols for the ostentatiously wealthy, and the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Craiglang's national animal is the Cane Toad, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Craiglang is ranked 109,383^rd in the world and 74^th in The Western Isles for Most Armed, with 0.34 weapons per person.