The Dragon Dominion of Cracow is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its public floggings, compulsory military service, and pith helmet sales. The cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.253 billion Cracowians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wawel. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Cracowian economy, worth 865 trillion obwarzaneks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 164,674 obwarzaneks, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

Anything is permissible when wearing latex gloves, soldiers who shoot themselves in the foot are regarded as heroes, candidates for public office painstakingly research their family trees to ensure their eligibility, and comedians who make offensive jokes have their ticket proceeds seized. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cracow's national animal is the dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Cracow is ranked 303,556^th in the world and 23^rd in Gardenia Botanicum for Most Pacifist, with 6.51 cheeks turned per day.