The Bland Republic of Coutdown is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by 24th President Jared McLawerence with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, complete lack of prisons, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 8.823 billion Cowdanians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Varmint. The average income tax rate is 74.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Coutdownian economy, worth a remarkable 1,281 trillion koranis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 145,191 koranis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shoppers have literally had their hands full since plastic bags were banned, the cancellation of "The Real Vixens of Varmint" has been described as a real blow for entertainment, the nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake, and the most popular WhoTube videos are ones featuring parodies of iconic songs. Crime is totally unknown. Coutdown's national animal is the French Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Mixed.

Coutdown is ranked 99,717^th in the world and 2,135^th in The North Pacific for Most Stationary, with 181.2551617744 days.