The Artemian Nightmare of Constantine Lambros is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Constantine Lambros with a fair hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, national health service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.805 billion Kalon hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alytheu. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Kalon economy, worth 398 trillion Mals a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 82,830 Mals, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Members of Parliament are often found living in cardboard boxes, candidates celebrate "free speech" by spraying champagne all over anyone who shows up to a rally, droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police, and the tenet of free speech is held dear. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Constantine Lambros's national animal is the Bass, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Constantine Lambros is ranked 22,089^th in the world and 8^th in Selene for Safest, scoring 111.28 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.