The Lord Damn Pink Democracy of Conklandi is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by The Great Conk with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 3.232 billion Conklandians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Conklandi City. The average income tax rate is 92.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Conklandian economy, worth 559 trillion Cowries a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 173,047 Cowries, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, feeling like a winner comes at a price, people who stay late at the office often come home to find their own funeral being planned, and The Great Conk's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Conklandi's national animal is the Vampire Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Conklandi is ranked 174,170^th in the world and 5,838^th in the South Pacific for Most Authoritarian, with 426.66 milliStalins.