The Depressed Mumblings of Conehead Dirge is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Dirge with an even hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, ban on automobiles, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.471 billion Coneheads enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Witness Protection. The average income tax rate is 68.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Conehead Dirgean economy, worth 128 trillion seekers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales. Average income is 87,118 seekers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pro-wrestling bouts open with a legal disclaimer insisting that any violence is guaranteed 100% faked, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon, vital intelligence-gathering activities are often put on hold for Call of Honor tournaments, and hostage-takers offer loyalty scheme points for prompt payment. Crime is almost non-existent. Conehead Dirge's national animal is the F-15 jet, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Conehead Dirge is ranked 87,066^th in the world and 1,446^th in the South Pacific for Highest Economic Output, with 128 trillion Standard Monetary Units.