The Republic of Condition variable is a gargantuan, orderly nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, enslaved workforce, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 10.597 billion Condition variableans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 31.2%.

The large but inefficient Condition variablean economy, worth 547 trillion guilders a year, is led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 51,646 guilders, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

In life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk, female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast, and the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Condition variable's national animal is the crocodile, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Condition variable is ranked 240,335^th in the world and 3^rd in Wassalia for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -5.06 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.