The Communist Monarchy of Commonwealth Of Astoria is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Rachel Dawn Amber with an iron fist, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, ritual sacrifices, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.816 billion Commonwealth Of Astorians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Commonwealth Of Astoria City. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Commonwealth Of Astorian economy, worth a remarkable 7,197 trillion Astorian Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 382,521 Astorian Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, frequent fliers are obliged to submit to invasive security procedures by government security, children are regularly married to each other to secure alliances between families, and the Laws of War require "enthusiastic consent" (Commonwealth Of Astoria has found 5 easter eggs). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Commonwealth Of Astoria's national animal is the Blue Butterfly, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cult Of Amber.

Commonwealth Of Astoria is ranked 86,062^nd in the world and 1,285^th in The North Pacific for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring 4,222.33 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.